Taylor Swift. The Life & Times Of A Showgirl. You can’t knock Taylor Swift for her career. She’s built a global brand with millions of ardent fans, and her lyrics bashing ex-boyfriends delighted a generation. But how many of her songs could pass the old grey whistle test? Which ones could that hypothetical record company doorman hear once and then whistle? Huge hooks and memorable melodies are not her field. Why would she care though? Taylor’s 12^th album, released last Friday, is already No 1 across the globe. It’s perfectly listenable, well-produced, refreshingly short and flexible; she stretches from electro-pop to 70s disco via piano ballads. Incisive words are still the stockbroker’s daughter’s main draw. Except now she isn’t tackling the failings of past lovers like poor Matty Healy, but praising the, um, assets of her finance, Travis Kelce. “Redwood tree, it ain’t hard to see, his love was thе key that opened my thighs,” the once squeaky-clean star reveals on dancefloor throwback Wood, adding “it sounds cocky…a hard rock is on the way.” Come back Benny Hill, all is forgiven. As well as giving us the measure of the American football tight end, Taylor takes down Charli XCX on soft-rocker Actually Romantic (echoing the Pixies’ Where Is My Mind?). Father Figure “incorporates” George Michael’s song of that name, turning it into a dig at a charmless former label boss who boasts “I can make deals with the devil because my dick’s bigger.” The 12 songs are collaborations with Swedish wiz kids Max Martin and Shellback. Catchiest is haunting, string-driven ballad Elizabeth Taylor. The sinister CANCELLED! has fun with cancel culture. And she ends on a high with the title track, a duet with Sabrina Carpenter. It’s all perfectly pleasant, cosy, easy-listening, synthy modern MOR fare. But largely forgettable. Odds on that fabled doorman would remember Pharrell’s Happy and Sabrina’s Espresso. Taylor’s catchiest smash is harder to recall.

Richard Ashcroft. Lovin’ You. Now surely a national treasure, the former Verve frontman veers between the sublime and the ridiculous on his latest solo offering. Fine poetic ballads like the folk-flavoured Find Another Reason and the tender country-kissed Out Of These Blues are let-down by throw-away sub-Communards dance tracks like I’m A Rebel. The heartfelt Live With Hope redeems the frustrating mishmash.

Ninebarrow. The Hour Of The Blackbird. Dorset folk duo Jon Whitley and Jay Bouchardiere return with 13 songs enhanced by two choirs. The result is spine-tingling and at times angelic. Their cover of Hey John Barleycorn reminds us that ‘true English cheer is English beer’. Elsewhere they range from the unsettling Under The Fence to the rural waltz of Nestledown via the touching The Sea and the acapella Farewell Shanty. All beguiling. 

Lovejoy. One Simple Trick. The swaggering Brighton indie rockers sparkle on confident tracks like Pay & Display and the casino-inspired Common Touch. Opener Baptism sets the tone marrying a huge chorus with smart lyrics. ‘If you play the saviour, will you make me holy?’ sings Wilbur Soot. Think the Arctic Monkeys meet a less miserable Morrissey. Fun with a side order of existentialism.

SHAB. One Suitcase. The Iranian refugee turned streaming pop star has turned her escape from Tehran’s “gangster regime” into an inspirational album. Remastered tracks like the moody and seductively powerful, Middle-East-flavoured Alchemy tell of her journey to freedom in the USA. Highs include the soulful, sexually-charged pop of Lipstick and the alluring Afterglow would blow Ali Khamenei’s tiny mind. It’s dance music with a liberating message. 

Andy Blade. Tiny Specks In A Huge Abyss. This is the 7th solo album from the former frontman of 1976 schoolboy punks Eater. Anglo-Egyptian singer-guitarist Andy has retained his awkward squad mentality, gleefully poking fun at the chattering classes on tracks like I’m Sorry I’m Mentally Ill. Dark humour abounds. Songs stretch from psychedelia to a strange re-imaging of The Carpenters’s Close To You on Karen Is The Drummer, featuring alt-rock vocalist Katerina Sharkova. Other guests include Tiffany Anders (Dinosaur Jr) on the poppy but unsettling I’m Not Myself, and Matilda Scotland (Quick Romance) who brings sunshine to I Like It When You’re Happy. Derwood Andrews from Gen X plays lead guitar throughout.